Theory of Conspiracy

Some of you guys are out there. Way out there. I give Conspiracy Theory the same consideration as Relativity Theory or Evolution Theory. Even more - I've never seen an animal evolve, and I've never been able to get even close to light-speed in my beat up old truck, but I've seen greedy, power-hungry fuckers conspire to gather more money and power to themselves with absolutely no consideration for human life, the continuation of the species, or the existence of life on earth. Conspiracy happens every day, all around us, everywhere, constantly.

There are so many theories, though. Some are credible, some are a stretch, but still plausible, and some are just fucking retarded. They range from corporate corruption to Freemasons and Jesuits and Zionists to Kabalist black magic to CIA mind-control to human-alien reptilian hybrids from Alpha Draconis. The ubiquitous Illuminati.

I look at everything. I personally have believed that we (humans) were some kind of alien science experiment since I was eleven, arguing with little fifth-grade christians that hadn't read a word of the Bible about why I, who at that point had read the Bible, didn't believe a word of it. I consider nothing too incredible to be discarded out of hand. Not even the Bible.

Here's the thing, though: Some of you guys really are crazy. Even worse, some of the crazy ones are also assholes, and they're giving me a bad name. Crazy I can deal with. Assholes are assholes.

The assholes are typically the guys that pick one horse to back. They say its all the Zionists, or its all the Jesuits, or its the reptilians from Alpha Draconis, and then they say "and anyone that doesn't see/agree is an idiot/agent/conspirator/mind-controlled slave." This one guy, Eric Jon Phelps, on the last episode of the Freeman Perspective, said with a straight face that the sun orbits the earth, which does not rotate, and the heliocentric view that the earth orbits the sun is Jesuit disinformation. Do you see where I'm going with this? Mr. Phelps also said Ron Paul was a traitor because he doesn't denounce the Jesuits and resign in disgust. Ron Paul is, therefore, a servant of the Jesuits.

As a supporter of Ron Paul, I looked into the Jesuit connection. All I could find was a couple of speaking engagements at Wheeling Jesuit University. I suppose that Dr. Paul, having served in Congress as long as he has, is aware of much of the inner workings of government. I suspect that he doesn't talk about it because he would sound like a crazy-ass conspiracy nut. His voting record and his consistency of character over his 30 year political career assuage my fears that he might be an agent of the Jesuit Order.

No doubt, the Jesuit Order is real, enormously powerful, sneaky, and downright murderous. All roads lead to Rome, they say. I actually had a friend whose uncle was a Jesuit, and they treated him like he was in the Mafia. The Pope, himself, is among the most powerful men on the planet, in any sense of the word. Presidents will kiss the Pope's ring. They'll also kneel before the queen. The current pope, one of the most powerful people on the planet, is a Nazi child-molester. George W. Bush has personally kissed his ring.

There is such a thing as a Zionist, and the Zionists really are some of the most evil, murderous, genocidal fucks out there. If you want to see what evil really looks like, go to YouTube or Google Video and look at some of what really goes on in Israel. What pisses me off is that the Zionists hide behind anti-semitism and the Holocaust while they perpetrate Nazi-style genocide against the Palestinians. What pisses me off even more is that its all funded by US tax dollars.

I'm pretty sure there are aliens, too, but I have no solid evidence. I personally am of the opinion that Queen Elizabeth, the Pope, and the George Bushes can be inhumanly evil even if they have no reptilian DNA whatsoever. Hell, maybe they are reptilian-human hybrids, and that's why they interbreed like Appalachian hillbillies, but I've seen no real evidence of that. Not the alien DNA, I mean. There's plenty of evidence of inbreeding among the elite. Hell, take a look at Prince Charles and tell me its okay for cousins to marry.

The bottom line is that there are already plenty of assholes in the world. It doesn't matter if those assholes are Kabalist Jesuit Zionists, Reptilian aliens from Alpha Draconis, or just some rich assholes. Whom do I think it is? I'm so glad you asked. I think its like trying to untie a cobweb. I think they're all real, and they all work together. I think it's like a poker game - every once in a while someone may cheat, or shoot someone, but they're all in the game. Whoever it is, its somebody. That might not make perfect sense... How about this: If you cover your ass, it doesn't matter who's trying to screw you.

Put that on a bumper sticker.