Escape from the USA part 3: Snails are not Food

I like to give France a hard time, but that's mainly because I know they won't fight back. The food isn't really all that bad, but snails are disgusting under any circumstances. It seems that, like the Chinese, the French are willing to cook and eat any part of anything that can't out-run them. Unlike the Chinese, however, the French want to smother it all in mushroom sauce.

Government in France is a convoluted affair, with both a President and a Prime Minister, as well as a legislative body. The French Constitution is a monolithic document with a preamble and eighty-nine articles. I must confess I did not read the whole thing, nor did I fully understand the articles I did read. The Declaration of the Rights of Man and of Citizens is an inspiring document, though. Unlike the US Constitution, it recognizes the rights of everyone, everywhere, and not just French citizens on French soil. It's no surprise that the French take their government so seriously. Probably most people that will actually bother to read this have heard of the Bastille, the guillotine, centuries of ruthless monarchy, and revolution after bloody revolution.

A word on the French roll-over during WWII: The German War Machine was virtually unstoppable. When those German tanks rolled into Paris it was all but deserted. If the French had stood their ground, they would've been slaughtered. There have been plenty of jokes (my favorite was from Maxim Magazine, a picture of a frog on it's back), but an orderly retreat to regroup, with a covert resistance operating within occupied France, was the only thing they could've done. That being said, I am not going to stop making fun of the French.

Of course, if I intended to move to France I wouldn't be writing about it, I would be trying to work my way across the Atlantic by any means possible. France, while a republic, has embraced socialism, and pays for it with a high rate of unemployment and ridiculous taxes.

So, thanks for democracy, Voltaire, The Count of Monte Cristo, and crepes, France. To repay the favor, I'll send y'all some Lever 2000, and I'll be the first to volunteer if you ever need help with those pesky Germans again.